BRING IT ON: Irate mothers (from left) Fran Sullivan, Rachel Facel and Karen O'Connor want to know why their sons' Karamu High School rugby first XV A grade final is in limbo after Lindisfarne College
Crouch, touch, pause (take a deep breath and start counting 1001, 1002 ... in anticipation of a lightning strike) then engage because this is one scrum where the front-rows aren't likely to pop up too soon.
In what's looming as a mother-of-all rugby matches this season, a group of irate Karamu High School (KHS) mums is wanting a "please explain" on their sons' impending first XV A grade final game.
"I don't know what the heck is going on and nobody else seems to know either," a befuddled team spokeswoman, Fran Sullivan, told SportToday.
Another mother, Karen O'Connor, said: "It's just not fair on the kids."
At the crux of the dilemma is a "phantom" match last Saturday that didn't eventuate after the Karamu team refused to turn up at Hastings Boys' High School for the 11.30am kick off against a Central Hawke's Bay College side.
Karamu were to play Lindisfarne College in the A grade final but because the latter had to play in a quadrangular tournament in Christchurch this week they had told CHB they would go on to play in the final, regardless of whether they won or lost. For the record, Lindisfarne won, but no one told KHS about any defaults.
To their horror, KHS players and parents found out in the SportToday draws last Wednesday that they were instead playing top pool-play qualifiers, CHB, in the final.
CHB first XV are losing semifinalists, along with the second-placed qualifiers Wairoa, who succumbed to third-placed KHS in the other semifinal.
KHS, who hold the Terry Hooper Shield for Bay co-educational school teams' bragging rights, risked losing their grip on the co-ed title if they had played and lost to CHB. Lindisfarne are a boys' school.
"From what I understand, the Karamu boys just decided not to go to the match against CHB," O'Connor explained, claiming Lindisfarne did not default their final against KHS but would not indicate if or when they were likely to play the final.
What perplexes the mothers is Lindisfarne's unwillingness to play mid-week, before or after their tourney, as their B and F grade teams did last week.
Lindsfarne schoolteacher Karl Jones, who is also in charge of secondary schools rugby draws, said KHS had effectively defaulted to CHB by not turning up last Saturday and Lindisfarne were simply not interested in playing the final.
"It's the most absurd happening ... and mind-boggingly peculiar," Jones said, defending his decision to award the final to CHB.
Lindisfarne, he said, had informed CHB they were not interested in playing the final even before they played their semifinal that they would default their match and he as the officer had approved that.
Jones did not see why he had to inform KHS of his decision "because I can't see what the other semifinal has to do with Karamu at all".
Furthermore, Karamu had informed CHB, via email at 2.30pm, that they were not turning up for their match.
"In all my years of doing draws I haven't had another team determining who should play in the final," he said, adding KHS were guilty of dictating terms.
"The Karamu mothers and their sons have every right to be upset and should take their irateness to their own school coaches and administrators."
People in charge of draws, Jones felt, should be allowed a "certain amount of autonomy" to do what they thought was appropriate.
The matter was before the Hawke's Bay Rugby Football Union and he did not know when Ian MacRae would make a decision.
Mother O'Connor said if Lindisfarne had opted not to play in the final then effectively Karamu should be declared the winners.
"I wouldn't have let my son play [against CHB] because they have already won [by default].
"My son's team had asked Lindisfarne to play any time, anywhere and they didn't," she said, claiming the Karamu team were in jeopardy because they could "lose everything "for not turning up to play against CHB last Saturday.
"My son's and their whole team is upset and I don't want this happening to any other school next year.
Sullivan said it was not clear if Lindisfarne hadn't defaulted to Karamu and there were some suggestions the sides were to play on Wednesday.
"We're upset for the boys because they have played their hearts out this season and we don't know where they stand.
"Our boys have been given a raw deal here and they are pissed off," Sullivan lamented.